10 Reasons Why God Created Eve!

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because he knew men would never ask directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don't want to see what's on television, they want to see what else is on television.

8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when the seat wore out and therefore would need Eve to get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctors appointment for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.

5. God knew that if the world was to be populated there would have to be someone to bear children, because men would never be able to handle it.

4. As "Keeper of the Garden" Adam would never remember where he put his tools.

3. The scripture account of creation indicates that Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone." He only ends up getting himself in trouble.

AND the #1 REASON WHY GOD CREATED EVE is ...

1. When God had finished creating Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, " I know I can do better than THIS!"

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Have a Merry Christmas, Everyone!!!

The Truth Behind the 12 Hottest Sex Myths

1. Men Reach Their Sexual Peak at 18, and Women Reach Theirs at 28

TRUE: With regard to their supply of sexual hormones, at least. Testosterone peaks at age 18 in men; women's estrogen hits its high point in their mid-20s. "But peak hormones don't mean peak sexual performance," says Marc Goldstein, M.D., a professor of reproductive medicine and urology at Cornell University's Weill Medical College. So feel free to try for a personal best—at any age.

2. Semen is Low-Carb

FALSE: "Semen is mostly fruit sugar [fructose] and enzymes—not low-carb," says Dr. Goldstein. Which finally explains why there's no Oral Sex Diet.

3. Masturbation Yields the Strongest Orgasm

TRUE: But it's not a hard-and-fast rule, as it were. "It depends on the individual," says Jon L. Pryor, M.D., a professor of urologic surgery at the University of Minnesota. "For some it does, but for others, there's nothing that beats good ol' intercourse."

4. The Average Erection Measures 8 Inches
FALSE: Relax, Shorty. It's closer to 6.

5. No Penis is Too Large or Too Small for Any Vagina

TRUE: But perception still wins the game in the end. "I was once at a dinner meeting with seven other sex doctors—six men and one woman," says Dr. Pryor. "The men all agreed that size doesn't matter. The woman looked at us and said, 'Think what you want. Size matters.' We all left dejected."

6. Oysters Make You Horny

FALSE: You make you horny. "There is no scientific evidence that oysters increase libido," says Dr. Pryor. "But there may be a placebo effect, so if it works, great!"

7. Green M&Ms Make You Horny
FALSE: Unless they do. Then it's true. Isn't the mind wonderful?

8. Men Think About Sex Every 7 Seconds

FALSE: That number is tossed around a lot, but the truth is that only 23 percent of men claim to fantasize frequently. But maybe the rest are just too distracted to check the clock.

9. Cutting Out Broccoli Will Make Your Semen Taste Better

TRUE: Semen is naturally bitter, and eating broccoli and drinking coffee can make it worse. A ray of hope for the Oral Sex Diet!

10. Having Sex Before an Important Event—the Big Game, the Critical Presentation—Can Ruin Your Performance in the Event

FALSE: Swiss researchers performed stress tests on people 2 and 10 hours after the subjects had had sex, and found that by 10 hours, the participants were fully recovered. There was only a small dip in performance 2 hours after sex.

11. Having Sex in Water (Swimming Pool, Hot Tub, Shower) Will Kill Sperm

TRUE: Some of your swimmers may die, but it isn't an effective method of birth control, according to Dr. Pryor. Though a hot tub can overheat your testicles and kill sperm, there should be plenty left for the egg hunt.

12. You Can Become Addicted to Web Porn

TRUE: But the risk is low. Only 1 percent of all people who check out Internet porn will become addicted. If you're sporting a ring, be careful: 38 percent of addicts are married.

Extra Marital Affairs: Yay, Five of Them?

The 1st Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and didn't wake up 'til at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."

"You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"

The 3rd Affair:
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

The 4th Affair:
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought. He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.

"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

The 5th Affair:
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

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Are you laughing now? It made you feel good, huh? Me too! Laughter is indeed the best medicine.

Gotcha! 23 Guilty Pleasures Men Will Never Cop To

This is for all the world to see, got this post from a friend of mine, bless his heart! For his privacy and protection from retaliation, he chose to remain anonymous. Anyway, read on and boy! will you be surprised.

1. Fantasizing about her friends, her cousin, her mom, and all of the other women whose hotness is multiplied exponentially by their unavailability.

2. Sitting in the boss's chair when he's gone.

3. Angry Phil Collins: "In the Air Tonight." "I Don't Care Anymore." "Mama." And when you're alone, air drums.

4. Those cheerleading competitions on ESPN2. Go ahead and watch. They want you to. It's . . . Oh! Kay!

5. Binoculars. Neighbors. You do the math.

6. Deep, emotional conversations with your closest buddy. The best part: Once you have one, neither of you will ever mention it again.

7. The "Confessions" page of Cosmopolitan magazine. Your girlfriend's copy, of course.

8. Karaoke. You do it because it makes the girls giggle. But deep down, you know you're better than Mick.

9. Every friggin' word that comes out of Jessica Simpson's pouty li'l mouth.

10. Cotton sheets with a thread count higher than Ted Williams' career batting average. A little knowledge of fabric is nothing to be ashamed of at bedtime.

11. You probably call it something like "scuttlebutt" or "intel." Why not call it what it is: gossip.

12. Warm Krispy Kremes. I mean, good God.

13. Pottery Barn. Restoration Hardware. Pier 1 Imports. You "tolerate" browsing there to mollify your lady—and to trade off a trip to the sports bar afterward—but for weeks you've been eyeing that Persian/Taiwanese rug and the monogrammed barbecue-utensil set. And wouldn't that Amish-made bookcase just kill in your den?

14. Flexing your fingers on the steering wheel. Waiting. Revving. Then blowing the poor sap next to you off the line.

15. Slippers!

16. A cheeky chardonnay.

17. Picking scabs, popping zits, and giving that mosquito bite one good scratch before vowing never to touch it again.

18. Movies like Old School that make you think, If only . . .

19. Saturday-morning reruns. Saved by the Bell (TBS) leading into a couple of 90210s (FX) fills your Tiffani Thiessen quota and is good hangover therapy.

20. Even better hangover therapy: the Kevin Costner triptych of Waterworld, Wyatt Earp, and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

21. Googling yourself.

22. Kelly Ripa. It ain't her talk-show chops. Maybe it's how she and Faith Ford smeared chocolate over each other. Maybe it's her domineering hotness. But it's definitely something.

23. Your filthiest, most psychotic erotic fantasy—the one that's either too dark, too dirty, or too illegal to mention. Don't worry. Every guy has one.

The 7 Deadly Sins of Dieting

One of every dieter's woes. Check this out, this is a good read for all of us "I'm having a hard time I just wanna quit" diet fanatics.

You’re completely committed to losing weight. You’re even counting calories and eliminating fast food. But no matter how hard you try, you won’t reach your goals if you fall victim to certain dieting blunders. Read on to uncover the seven deadly sins of dieting—and to ensure weight-loss success.

1. Choosing a fad diet. Although some of these plans may seem to work initially, any pounds you shed on them tend to come back quickly and in greater numbers. What’s more, fad diets can pose serious health risks. The same goes for most diet pills. According to experts, you should plan to lose a maximum of two pounds a week; any plan or product professing to help you lose more than that should be treated with a healthy dose of skepticism.

2. Leaving exercise out. Many people make the mistake of thinking that cutting calories is all it takes to shed pounds. Although watching what you eat is surely part of the puzzle, it doesn’t tell the whole story. The National Weight Control Registry (NWCR) found that 94 percent of people who successfully lost weight increased their frequency of exercise. So be sure to make physical activity a part of your dieting regimen.

3. Going it alone. Losing weight is hard, but without a support system, it’s even harder. With nobody to tell you put that doughnut down or remind you about your 6 A.M. aerobics class, your chances for success are going to be lower. If you recruit a buddy, it will make you feel more accountable for your successes and setbacks—and help you to lose more weight, according to a Brown Medical School Study.

4. Being a yo-yo dieter. The constant ups and downs may not only be hurting your waistline; they could also be harming your health. In addition to the discouragement that may accompany rapid weight cycling, yo-yo dieting has been linked to long-lasting negative impacts on metabolism, according to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA). As if that’s not enough, yo-yo dieters may experience physical problems, such as a decrease in muscular strength and endurance, thinning hair, loss of coordination, fainting, weakness, and slowed heart rates.

5. Piling on the extras. You may think you’re doing your body good by eating that salad, but if you’re just loading it up with creamy dressing and full-fat cheese, there’s nothing diet-friendly about it. Instead, substitute high-calorie condiments for lower-calorie alternatives. If you usually opt for ranch or blue cheese dressing, switch to vinaigrette (if you’re dining out, always ask for it on the side). And if you generally use mayonnaise, swap it for mustard—you’ll save nearly 40 calories per tablespoon.

6. Depriving yourself. This behavior can only last for so long. At some point, you’re going to break, say Harvard researchers, who found that diets that are too restrictive will most likely lead to bouts of overeating or binge eating. Try eating smaller meals and snacks throughout the day, which will help to jump-start your metabolism and stop you from feeling famished by day’s end.

7. Giving up too soon. It takes a great deal of dedication to shed pounds, and results don’t just happen overnight. The key, according to experts, is resisting the urge to throw in the towel, no matter how many setbacks you may face. Remember, the road to weight loss is a journey with many twists and turns—but when you reach your goals, there are many rewards to be had.